oh no

hey hey.
gosh.
all of a sudden i'm playing for tp softball again.
and the fact that i just couldnt say no to coach.
oh crap.i just realised that i cant say no.
haha.he was persuasive.
insisting that he can arrange to fit into MY schedule.
i just didnt know how to say no.

goodness.the last time i actually trained was the first training that i went to before i decided that i should quit.it was such a tough decision.it took up so much of my courage to go up to that teacher to tell him that i wanna be cca-less.and now i'm gonna be playing on thursday.
everybody is gonna laugh at me making a fool out of myself,due to the lack of training that is. what is coach thinking putting me to play on thursday without a single training before that.
hahaha.still can i know your standard.crap.i have no standard can.sheesh.i am so gonna screw up and if we do lose which i hope we dont, its gonna be all because of me.and what will people think.this girl never come for a single training and now she's gonna play.what is this?oh no!!

for the last 2 days, src was so not src for me.all i did was base coach, score and watch.the whole atmosphere was not there.sheesh.and the big big fact that it was at kallang.crap crap.i wanna play so badly but i wanna be sure that i'm ready for it and i wanna make sure that i can do my best out there.and i need the fact that i trained beforehand to re-assure myself of my presence on the field.to know that i trained hard and did my best.not that i didnt train and went out there and screw up the whole game.i'm in such a diffcult position.sigh sigh.

hmm.and its this thursday.and i have no time at all to do any training before the game.and this is all too sudden. you can just imagine me out there playing whatever position that i've never played before for the first time against RJC.and without any training.i have no idea what bases to cover and i have no idea whats gonna happen.i need help!!i need help with batting.i need help with throwing.i need help with running.all in all. I NEED HELP BADLY!!

oh.i really do miss those days when trainings were so tiring and the times when we would dread training just cos the sun was shining too brightly.and our uncountable rain prayers.hahaha.how amusing.and when we would do physical so quickly just so coach wouldnt be able to see us slacking.haha.and when the outfielders would be batting while the poor infields were fielding.and when coach would hit in between balls for us.and we would scream like crazy and cheong for the balls like there was no tomorrow.oh how i miss those days.i miss my team.i miss the fun that we had. i miss birthdays with the endless pouring of water on each other.and the running around the field but knowing that in the end we'll still get wet.haha.and how we would always wish that it was watch video days.hahaha.and how the four of us would always try to skip trainings.and the duckwalks that we would have to do.and how eventhough it was so painful we made it seem so much fun.hahaha.and the fact that we could still be laughing while we're getting punished.haha.i miss those days.oh gosh.i miss my team so so much.src is just not the same without the team.

i miss angie and her endless homeruns.
i miss clara and her endless encouragement.
i miss sj and her endless embarassing moments.
i miss mag and her endless smiles.
i miss syaz and her endless pointing at me when there is a leftie up at bat moments.
i miss bi and her endless coolness.
i miss bren and her endless singing.
i miss dixie and her endless running back so quickly to catch the ball times.
i miss germ and her endless loud "nice catch" whenever there's one.
i miss melly and her endless jokes during training.
i miss mei and her endless "my eyes are not small" times.
i miss arthi and her endless cheers.
i miss my going to training just to see the team play together days.

ahhh!i miss all the games when we would cheer so loudly and the times when we would be so so happy after winning every single game.and i miss the fact that everyone would be cheering each other on no matter what happened during the game.and that nobody would scream at each other.we would only scream for each other!!i miss the fact that we would hold bonding sessions and end up talking about rubbish and playing games.hahaha.and the fact that there would be no problems left unsolved in our team.and the fact that we had our downs but we stuck together as a team where nobody gave up on anybody.i just miss the fact that i knew that i could always count on the team whenever something happened.

oooh.the bottomline is that i miss them all so much.

I LOVE MY TEAM!!

i really really do.
:)